I longed to make a lasting difference, to make the world a better place, believing in the possibility of playing a part in something truly great. I genuinely wanted to believe and became a believer.
Once believing, it was easy for the trust I placed in myself, and the others involved in my dream, to grow and deepen. I knew in my soul we were working for a greater good. Of course, this was a righteous endeavor, because all of the pieces had so easily fallen into place, as if orchestrated from above. I believed and trusted.
There were others who voiced negative thoughts and feelings about my dream-turned-mission, that of saving impoverished and orphaned children, but I refused to listen. I would have defended to the death my dream and the others whom I believed played such heroic roles. My commitment was strong. I believed, trusted, and was loyal.
Then came the day when words were spoken in a hushed voice. Each sentence alone had a simple meaning, but strung together in such a fashion they became earth shattering. As I heard the words, my palms began to sweat and the room seemed to grow fuzzy. The world as I knew it, my dream, and my belief in my hero exploded into a million pieces. I had believed, I had trusted, I had been loyal, and I had been shattered.
This is a record of my memories from periods in my life in which I encountered the best and the worst of humanity. I learned firsthand that good and evil don’t always operate independently; sometimes they are as intertwined as the threads of a sweater. It is my story of a broken childhood, an international battle to save my own child, and subsequently my time working in intercountry adoption, the events building upon one another to a shocking conclusion. I encountered loyalty and betrayal, intense happiness and heart wrenching disappointment, liars and innocents, crime and Federal Prosecutors, honesty and deceit, suspicious deaths and wondrous new beginnings. It is my story of survival, forgiveness, and perseverance.
